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Ugh, I am so tired. Blah. I’m tired of being tired, and of being redundant, lol. I’m just not sleeping well, I’ve got too much to do these days and I end up missing out on everything and anything that may have been fun or peaceful. On top of that crap my boss just unloaded three more projects on me, as if I have time to blog let alone work more. And what am I supposed to say, no? I’m not in a position to say no, so I bitcheth on my blogeth, lol.



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Yeesh! Apparently my back has decided I don’t deserve a spine and set up shop in New Mexico, meaning my back is killing me. I don’t know what the deal is, but I do know that somehow migraine meds work on it, it just doesn’t kill all the pain and it hurts like hell to sit at my damn desk and work with it acting up the way it is. I, honest to Odin, have no idea how I farted it up this time, pew!

Speaking of farting things up, I seriously need to change this stupid layout – it’s defaultism is starting to annoy me to no end. I had one, a wintery one with a snow man, I just never got around to installing it and now the Christmas/Solstice season is over due to my hellish schedual. Hehe. Hellish is a fun word. Yes, I know, I’m easy to amuse, lol.

Speaking of this thing I wasn’t actually speaking of, some friends and I have decided to open a forum, though lord knows how it’ll turn out. I don’t know yet if it’s going to be a free for all or for just our little circle. I think I like the latter better, because none of the horrible things I say there offend them – you know, because they have a collective sense of humor and honesty about themselves that I find most people lack, which is why I don’t really like most people I suppose. Well, that and their tendency to all look alike. I hate that. And everything should be done my way, lmao.



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Hope everyone had a great holiday season, I’ve still got 6 pagan holidays, New Years and Chinese New Year to look forward to so I’m still truckin’, lol. The nice thing about being a heathen, well amongst other nice things, is that we really never run out of holidays and so I can buy stupid things I don’t need ( hah, as if I don’t need the entire Enchanted Worlds collection! :P ) and call them holiday purchases, lol. I seriously need to make more cash, though, I rarely actually buy anything, so everything I DO buy I feel bad for buying, but since it’s the holidays I tried to put that out of my mind so I could indulge in presents for friends and family.

I may be working in the capital, though, come this spring or summer. They have an assistant job open that pays upwards of 30 large a year, maybe 35 depending on who, exactly, I work for. Either way it’s over triple what I make now, for less work, and I’ve practically been promised the job so, it’s just a matter of transportation.



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TV Yay!

Dec. 18th, 2007 08:23 pm
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Hooray! The Mediacom guy finally came out and fixed our cable! It only took them two weeks ( well, it was almost two weeks, only shy a few hours ) and the guy was testie with me as if the storm that tossed a huge tree branch onto the cable and knocked it off of the box? Annoyed! At least it’s fixed again, and just in time for holiday programming! I think TBS is running A Christmas Story for 24 hours on Christmas Eve, and I’m sure AMC will do the same with A Miracle on 34th Street so I can watch those ( my two favorite holiday films ) to my heart’s content.



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Awhile ago I did a product review on a sample of sensitive toothpaste from Biotene, and as promised, I’ve used it steadily since then and it’s time to do my full review of the product.

biotene

I’ve had a few sensitive teeth on one side of my mouth for as long as I can remember, the pain for cold more than hot is an especially intense jolt and it drives me up the wall and makes me turn into a dragon if even mildly icy water even touches one of those teeth. I’ve always had to deal with that and until recently I’ve been a user of Sensodyne, which isn’t bad for this particular ailment. But, very recently, I got the opportunity to use Biotene instead and I’ve been really pleased with the results!

Biotene combines Potassium Nitrate, which is apparently the number one most effective ingredient for sensitivity protection with it’s patented Enzyme LP3 Complex™ and that keeps a lid on the harmful bacteria that cause gingivitis and oral infection, so it’s actually helping your gums heal while it fights cavitities AND tooth sensitivity! You can’t tell me that’s not cool, if you did I wouldn’t believe you, lol.



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*does a dance* Big timey Happy Birthday to Natalie, who turns none of your beeswax today, lol. She’s also starting a job today, too, so best wishes to her and hopefully I’ll get to chat with her before the day’s out – hope! I’m so freaking smart that I accidentally sent her like 5 of the same Hallmark.com ecard, lmao. I’m not entirely sure how I managed that. :S

Speaking of managing, I decided to make a button for Shibuya ( finally ) and, being stupid I decided to go ahead and do a pixel version of Shibuya and, apparently, I had no idea what I’d taken on lmao. I got sleepy after awhile so the bastard’s got no trees out front and I didn’t bother putting an ad on the 109 tower, but it’s not too horrible lmao.



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I’ve decided I don’t like people who don’t like PayPerPost. No, wait, let me correct that – I hate people who are vocal enough in their hatred of PPP that they harass people who use it. I’ve noticed, since I’ve been active in the PPP community, that a fair amount of Posties get a fair bit of hate on a regular basis, and it makes me wonder if non Posties can really be so full of themselves, preachy, up their own asses AND have nothing to do all day all at the same time?

As some of you already know, I’m sure, I’ve decided to distance myself from the Web Haters in recent months. I think it’s ridiculous to scrutenize others for hours on end based solely on the stupid notion that, according to the rules you’ve set for yourself in your own mind, you’ve convinced yourself that you’re superior to them.

If someone’s coding isn’t 100% valid, they suck. If someone uses a more fan-ish style of design, rather than the more elitist approved ‘defaultism’ style that looks quite a bit like the default wordpress layout, they blow. If they don’t agree with you, they are not worthwhile. If they don’t spell perfectly, they should be dehumanized. They use PayPerPost? They should just kill themselves.

I’m all for everyone doing their own thing, and having their own opinions, but it’s a bit on the stupid side to become Peter, Paul and Mary whenever someone doesn’t agree with you to the point of mental slavery. It shows such a want of attention and validation that, were it not so hilarious, would actually be a bit painful to witness.

It actually amazes me that people are so narrow minded that they assume that if paid for your opinion you’d have no other choice than to blatantly lie. These people haven’t taken the time to check out PPP to see how it works, they seem to not realize that you don’t have to take any opportunities that you don’t want to take – you don’t have to take any at all, if you don’t want to. PPP has also been adamant to all Posties that they want blogs with good, real and original content and they don’t want any PPP sponsored posts to be in any way false advertising, in fact you can get benched or banned by an advertiser for that. But why check out the program and learn neat, shiny facts when you can slander it and terrorize it’s users?

I’ve heard all the arguments against blogging for profit, including one mention of it being whoring yourself out, and I haven’t heard one good reason to can it. Let me explain something. Everyone has to make money, and those of us using PPP are people who go to regular jobs, work long hours and still need help with the bills. Not everyone gets paid a decent hourly wage, and for people like me who have special circumstances PPP has become a way to afford small treasures like food and toilet paper, and hopefully a new garbage can with wheels and a lid. The fact that there are people out there who feel it their duty, not to mention a good chance to grab attention, to make those of us who do this work – and it is work, thanks, – regret the day we were born is so stupid and childish. Don’t you get enough attention in your everyday life? Is it really so important to be faux scandalized and ‘make a stand’ against shit that doesn’t concern you? Why don’t YOU go get a job? Or are you too busy being an arrogant, swaggering, common piece of trash all day? I can see how that would take up a lot of your time.

Notably, I don’t have any beef against those who just don’t want PPP on their own sites, because who gives a rats ass if you bitch on your own site? I don’t, I doubt anyone else does unless they’ve got a hard on for your precious approval. Everyone’s welcome to their opinion, it’s when your opinion crosses over into the comments and tag boards of other blogs that you and I have a situation. I’m in awe that it really doesn’t happen to me, lol.



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I’m a bit annoyed ( see Why We Hate Fat People by Laota ). I’ve read on two different blogs, which shall not be named here, that fat people just don’t care about their health, that they’re fat because they’re lazy pigs who do nothing but eat fast food five times a day and should get up off their fat asses once in awhile. One blog even went so far as to blame the parents of fat people, saying that they don’t care about their children’s health and let them eat nothing but McDonalds and candy. What the hell? How do you get to be that ignorant?

First of all, it’s kind of weird to automatically blame parents for a kids weight, especially since some weight problems are genetic – there’s a little girl who lives a few blocks from me who weighs twice what she should, her family is big, too, and I used to babysit for her when she was 3 or 4 and she was heavy then, she’s 9 now and still heavy – they have veggies, fruit, health food, soy milk and nothing really fattening in their kitchen and they take family walks, bike ride, swim – but they’re still overweight and get treated like they’re lazy or slobs. More than once I’ve had to walk the little girl home from school past a particular block in my neighborhood because there are a few little girls in her class who terrorize her and try and beat her up, they call her names and she can’t handle it. For what? Because they have a stupid, ignorant but very popular, predjudice.

Personally, I grew up chubby and I never overate, in fact people made me feel so fat that I excercised all the time and, being a stupid kid, ate almost nothing – I did it for years, and I stayed at a heavier-than-my-friends weight. As soon as my leg got frelled up and I couldn’t walk for a few months ( which is what happens when you don’t have health insurance ) I ballooned up, and I wasn’t eating any more, less or differently than I usually did. I never eat fast food, since I don’t have the money to do so and the nearest fast food place is 30 miles away, nearly, and I don’t have a working car so McD’s wasn’t the culprit, I just couldn’t get up and excercize 2 hours every day anymore.

See, I’m one of those people who have to work twice as hard as my peers and eat half the calories they were eating just to stay at ‘chubby’, which I eventually accepted and now, though I’m heavier than I was then, I still work out every day but I have no desire to eat my old standby of almost nothing. I know I won’t ever be thin, I’m OK with it, but it pisses me off that nobody else seems to be.

Actually, I’ve got a better self image now than I ever have even though now I’m past chubby, I’m downright fat ( and you can deal with it or bite me ), and I look at older pictures of myself before my accident and wonder why I let people tell me I was fat, lazy and ugly. I wasn’t, but I believed everything they said. That screwed with my head, badly, and spent a great portion of my life unable to look myself in the mirror on the off moments when I wasn’t scrutinizing how many pounds I may have lost or gained, I lived on a scale and perminantly chained to nothing but salads, tuna, water and yogurt and counting every calorie as if it were double in hopes of losing that extra five or six pounds. I wish I had a time machine, I wish I could go back and explain to myself that being fat doesn’t have to be a bad thing and that if I let other people control how I see myself then I’m giving them power over me. I hate that. I have a giant, swinging castration complex that won’t let me do that now, lol.

A big problem is that people who consider themselves healthy, who are many times stick skinny and underweight, terrorize overweight people just because they can get away with it. And they justify it by saying that they’re just trying to ‘help’ the person. How, by getting in their business and making them feel worthless? By following a classmate to school, saying you’re going to beat her up? For what? Her size? I know there are a few of that type reading this right now, and let me assure you that you aren’t helping. If someone’s overweight, weither or not it’s their fault, you calling them names and bullying them far into adult life just makes it harder for them to live a happy life.

If someone’s going to make an effort to lose weight because someone ( or many people ) have been putting them down, chances are they’re going to go on crash diets and use pills and supplements because it’s not being healthy that they care about. In fact they probably don’t even care if it kills them, they don’t care if they’re healthy or not, they just want to be thin – they just want you to stop. How is that helpful? Are you high? Is your life not fullfilling enough without torturing someone who obviously has enough to worry about?

While I’m a big advocate of healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle, I think it’s stupid and downright schoolyard to make someone else’s life a living hell just because they don’t look exactly like you. I may never be thin, in fact I know I won’t, but I’d rather like myself and look in the mirror wondering about my stupid hair or trying out a new color of lip gloss than terrified that I may be one pound fatter. Lighten up, people, being skinny doesn’t make you better than anyone else and, let’s face it, there are plenty of skinny people who are just as unhealthy as overweight people so why not get off our tit already? We only get one life, and we all want to enjoy it. When you terrorize someone for any reason, you’re in effect stealing some of their life that they’ll never get back, and if you do this and you’re not ashamed of yourself then YOU are the one who’s worthless.



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Randomies

Nov. 28th, 2007 03:05 am
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Whoo, we’re almost done with the turkey! Just the legs left now, and I don’t think I want to bother making them all fancy, I’ll just heat them up in the gravy for the mashed taters and we’ll have them with stuffing and lots of salad. I love salad, I want to go to salad heaven someday and have a bed made of sunflower seeds, which I eat and then have no bed. Sleeping on the floor is a small price to pay for a bed-sized pile of sunflower seeds, lol. I’m so random, I even confuse myself at times.

Just got some new bento stuff in the mail today, I’ve got two more packages coming. One of bento stuff, of course, and one of them is a secret-y late birthday present for Laota. I’m so giddy, she’s gonna flip when she sees it! It’s so her, and besides I was secretly taking notes when she gushed over it on eBay, lmao. *does a present dance*! I’d tell you guys what it is, but you’re all big mouths! Telephone, Tell A Friend, Tell Shibuya’s Readers. No, seriously, if I put it up here she’d see it and the surprise would be ruined, but I like blaming you anyway – it strengthens our bond. ;)



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I don’t know if you’ve heard about Trusted Tours and Attractions before, but they’ve got discounted tickets to sight seeing tours in some awesome destinations. I’ve never really thought about sightseeing tours, I mean I knew about them – I knew they existed – but every vacation I’ve ever taken was just a trip to relax and let the world roll by, but you don’t really get to fully experience a location that way. I’d love to go to Key West, or back to San Diego, where my step sister used to live. We used to go up every couple of years and stay with her, and we’d go to Sea World, the San Diego Zoo and drive all the way up to Anaheim and visit Disneyland and Knott’s, which were, and still remain to this day, my favorite vacation activities.

One of the more fun memories of visiting San Diego was going to the Zoo when I was 12. My parents kept a pretty tight leash on us, they were very strict and, to be honest, didn’t like Laota and I to really enjoy anything we were doing – almost like we were committing a sin by having fun. We weren’t allowed to make noise, or laugh too loud or too much, and heaven help you if you were hurt or cried at all. So most of our vacations were spent with everyone sitting quietly in a relatives living room. But this particular year we were both with our step sister (who’s 20 years older than us) and not our parents, and we ran around like lunatics, all three of us. We bought souvenirs, which we later got in trouble for, and took pictures of the animals, especially the birds. We even bought San Diego Zoo visors, and for Laota and I that was us wasting money but we didn’t care, it was just nice to be allowed to have fun for once.

I’d love to go back, were I ever to get up the cash to do so. Trusted Tours and Attractions offer of Old Town Trolley tours sounds like just what I need, I get to see the sights and I don’t have to hobble around the streets looking for sights with my not-too-keen eyes, lol. Actually, Trusted Tours has an e-Newsletter and, if you sign up by December 14, 2007, you’re automatically entered to win yourself 4 free tickets to the city you choose, isn’t that awesome?



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Whee! Whee! Whee, I tell you, whee! I’ve just heard some delicious science fangirl news about how I’m a giant geek! :P

Apparently, the History Channel’s fantabulous series The Universe isn’t done for, after all! I assumed, as did many who were fans, that it would be a one-season situation, but apparently it’s coming back for a second season, and very soon! Ooh, the suspense is killing me! So much that I died! Yes, I died, as in dead – me! Two sentences ago! Now I’m a ghost who’s blogging, which is a sight to behold – aren’t you glad you stopped by? You’re seeing the first blog-by-ghost, what a read! This is a history making feat that doesn’t come cheap, and you didn’t even buy a ticket. That’ll be twenty-five cents, please.



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There’s just something about the Yankees, isn’t there? They have a hotdog and apple pie quality to them, even their name’s patriotic and watching them play the game is a sight to behold. I wish I’d been able to see them play live, in-stadium, or get Yankees Spring Training tickets, but I’ve never had the money to go to even a local ( Royals ) game, not that I’m a big fan of KC’s team. I miss New York, and The Boys are part of that, and I’d love to go to Spring Training but just checking the Yankees Spring Training Schedule is going to have to do it for me. In June, when they play the Royals, I’m going to enjoy watching them cream the crap out of KC’s team – sorry, I’m no fan, lol.



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I think a lot about where I’d go if I had vacation time and money, and the will to go considering I’ve been exhausted for so long, I always think of somewhere sunny with water and sand, and I never thought for a second about using Holiday Rental to find a ski apartment in Bansko for your ski holiday. Apparently, these destinations are in Bulgaria – for real! I never heard of anyone going to Bulgaria for a ski holiday, but I suppose people who live in luxury can do those kinds of things. Apparently Holiday Rentals has the best accommodation and cabin selection in the UK, they even have villas and chalets to choose from and they have what they call the Rent With Confidence Guarantee that you can read about HERE. What a cool idea, not one I’d ever have thought of, I hope to take them up on it one day. :D



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The Itis!

Nov. 23rd, 2007 01:23 am
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Hoo, stuffed! I’m stuffed – I have the itis! That’s right, THE itis! I ate way too much, but I’m much more than a my-own-horn-tooter, I’m also a pretty damn good cook, if I do say so myself, lol. I made turkey, stuffing, my special “No Gravy Potato Mash” and a recipe I made up today on the fly, “Irish Cream Pumpkin Gems” which I made in my brand new silicon bakeware muffin pan ( I love it, it rules! ) with actual irish cream and sour cream folded into my pumpkin pie recipe ( try it, it makes it light and fluffy and it has a nice tang to it ), the only thing I can’t make for crap is I wish I could make rolls and I just never get them right – I may need a new recipe? Speaking of recipes, I’ll have the recipes for everything I’ve made on Hanamachi Lights in the next few days. :D



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Well, my mom’s at it again. Her and her boss have had a huge blow out fight over something too personal to be work related. This is so stupid. After my stepdad passed away, I thought she’d be ‘free’, so to speak, and that she wouldn’t have someone telling her what she could and couldn’t do, who she could and couldn’t talk to and where she could and couldn’t go but she’s given her boss that power over her – she’s replaced her husband with him.

She can say all she likes that she hasn’t, but she has, he comes into her house without knocking or being let in ( Which is why the dead bolt at our place stays locked now, because he can’t control himself like a normal person. ), stretches out on the couch and drinks beer while he watches her TV and if we’re anywhere near him he starts picking at us and trying to make us mad or feel bad about ourselves, and then acts like we have a great relationship when questioned about it. I’m so tired of people doing that – they start shit with you and if you retaliate then you are the one with the problem!

So, anyway, she calls me up in the middle of the night last night and says she’s had a fight with him ( Apparently it’s my fault, but I’ll get to that later. )and she’s coming over, long story short she didn’t come over and gave me no calls or excuses for that behavior, so I waited up half the night for her and eventually fell asleep waiting.

Now, onto what’s my fault about this fight. Mom claims she’s got people following her on the road, trying to kill her – yes, that’s really what she claims – and that it’s because of her work. Bossman buys it hook, line and sinker and I don’t. Bossman, the other day, asks me if I believe she’s being followed and I asked him if he wanted the truth – he said he did. So, I told him I think she’s making it up to gain attention and sympathy, and I do think so. Well, he told her I said that – now I’ve told her eight hundred times that I don’t believe she’s being followed – but when she called she was furious, as if I’d been spreading rumours about her. He asked, what was I supposed to say? “Duh, I dunno, I have to ask Mommy what I think.”!? He can bite me and so can she.



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Awww! I got the cutest ever birthday presents! I got them a bit late, so it’s got an extra surprise feel to it, and they’re easily exactly what I wanted. First of all, I bought myself a little black bento (picture will come soon) with a built-in divider, plus Laota and I had to have three nori face punches to make little faces for our onigiri and add some extra cutes to our bentos (pics coming soon for that, too).

Next are two of the best birthday presents I’ve ever gotten – possibly the best, actually. Wil‘s presents are always the best, though, because he knows me better than my own family, lol. He sent a religious pendant and, unlike my own mother, got my semi obsure religion right! I give you the Helm!

Yay!

Yay!

And a gorgeous bento – it’s actually one I’ve been eying ( Is that spelled right? Lol. ), but never could afford. It’s pinkm cream, black, purple and red kimono fabric print with chopsticks, band and bag – aboslutely adorable! I just had to share it, I know the pictures aren’t the most fabulous but they give you an idea of what’s what. :D

Yay!



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It’s possible that I’m going through a ‘thing’. Just a funk, and I don’t really know why. I’ve been able to keep my spirits up enough to stay in a state of Zen for the past few months, but it’s taken a lot of work to do it, and the sheer amount of reminders like, “No, it’s OK, you can handle this.” moments have taken a lot out of me. But it was working – I’ve been far from happy, mostly sad-ish, but not so bad as I’d have to be to consider myself regressing into depression. But lately, I’ve had this ick all the time. I’ve been quick to cry, and I never cry. I don’t get what’s up with me. Pew.



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Whoo, I’m getting old, or at least it feels like I am. Do you know that I’ve been blogging for over eight years on various sites, I’ve had Beautiful Sin probably six, maybe seven years and I’ve been making sites and in the graphics biz for eleven years? Tha’s just my net life, too, Odin knows how old I really am. Probably a seven or eight, easy. Thanks to Nick for his guess of fourty, which is closer than my guess of seven or eight by a long shot, lol. I’m so looking forward to just relaxing today and gorging on cake – because that’s a healthy way to live, lol.

I’ll write more later, since I can’t for the life of me remember what I had started out writing. It was about DVDs, I know that much, lol.



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I dare you to tell me these aren’t cute, lol. Double dare! This is a rotten picture, but I just had to snap one, even if it was with my horrible, stupid camera phone, lol. I used my bento veggie cutters that I had shipped in from Tokyo, and I just adore them – they’re sakura, ume and orange blossom home made sugar cookies ( about 2/3 of an inch across ) with home made pastel frosting, just big enough to stick in a bento but I doubt they’ll last that long, lol.
Blossom Cookies



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Well, it’s official – today is My Birthday Eve. Pay out, PayPerPost, I’d like a cake, lol. I know, I know, it’s sad that I’ve got to buy my own birthday cake – but it’s something I chose to do, and I’m a damn good baker so I could, technically, bake my own if I wanted to but I want to buy a nine dollar ice cream cake. It’s generic, but it’s good – strawberry shortcake with white chocolate decoration on the top and berry cream ice cream. I’m too old to be obsessing over cake, lol. But, I’m of the mind that I’d like one decent birthday, and this is the first year I’ve had in twenty years that I haven’t had to share ( meaning give ) my celebration to my stepdad. The awful jackass.

See, his birthday was the day before mine so I’d get a piece of cake but I couldn’t blow out the candles, he’d get the cards, he’d get the presents, he’d get pampered and I was expected to be one of the people who did the pampering. I can’t tell you how many times I was the one who baked his cake, bought him presents, made him dinner, cleaned up after him – because my birthday didn’t matter. I know it’s kind of childish to whine about it now, since most people consider birthdays to be something that only children get excited about, but I spent my birthdays until I was seventeen being silently envious and hurt by it. In fact he dominated my mother and Laota‘s birthday celebrations, too, and Christmas, Thanksgiving, Mother’s and Father’s days, school events, church events – if there was attention to be paid, he wanted it paid to him and no one else. He was like a vicious, jealous, mean child and he’d get violent if he didn’t get what he wanted, when he wanted.

After a certain point in my life, though, I think I just accepted it and fell into a life of mundane repetition – no opinions, no backtalk, no promise of a better life. And awful as it is to say, in the months that he’s been gone my life has taken an upswing – it’s not a good life, I’m still landlocked and holding down four jobs with literally almost no pay ( we’re talking maybe $200 a month, if that ), and were it not for PayPerPost, I’d literally have nothing. At least I can afford a cake this year, and, for once, it’s happy birthday to me.



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