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Whoo, I’ve been gone a long-ass time. I just haven’t had time for this site, so much has been going on, and a smarter person would’ve blogged about it because it’s been horrible but my blogging’s not that compelling anyway, and you don’t need to know everything about me so feh.



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I can’t believe that Stephanie Meyer is actually being called The New J.K. Rowling – it blows my mind fragile little mind.

If you don’t know who Stephanie Meyer, she’s the 30-something author of the absolutely horrible, over-romantic, over-dramatic Buffy/Charmed/Interview with a Vampire rip-off piece of crap known as the insanely popular Twilight book series about Bella and some fakey-Angel McLestat gleaming hunk of burning retard vampire that anyone with two nickles and a fart between their ears could have penned.

Now, I’ve got a few friends who love the series – granted, they are few and one of them is a self-proclaimed “OverGrown Tweenie Bopper with No Life”, – but most of the people I associate with who’ve read the books agree that they are complete twaddlequeef with no real structure and a lot of wishful, oversexed daydreaming about vampires who fall in love with humans – tale as old as time. Or, at least as old as Hollywood.

And, not to be one to bitch about something I don’t have the slightest idea about, when my friend Natalie became interested in the series I choked the first book down to see what it was like – Stephanie Meyer, I hate you. Your work reads like bad fanfiction. It’s drivel, and I’m sad that I wasted my time on it – though it’s better than anything I could have written, mostly because when I write I don’t write specifically to sell novels to whiney tweenies with too much money. I didn’t like The O.C., Everwood, One Tree Hill, Charmed, etc, and I don’t like your book.

You may ask yourself why I’m wasting my time writing a blog post about an author I claim to despise – well, truth be told, I don’t despise Stephanie Meyer. I don’t know her, how can you despise someone you don’t know? What I do despise is the retarded notion that somehow Stephanie Meyer is in the same league as J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, who’s richer than Odin and deserves every penny of it.

J.K. Rowling is snarky, sassy and determined. She’s a fabulous writer and a great role model. Stephanie Meyer is a third-aged Mormon with a vampire fetish, who’s a third rate author. And while I wish her all the success in the world, when it comes down to talent it’s really no contest and to imply otherwise is disrespectful and misinformed – shame on you Time.com.



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You know what’s hilarious? People who have blogs with a comments section – then tell you what you’re allowed to say in your comments. I ran across a few, especially in the last few days, that have clauses under which you aren’t allowed to disagree with them or it’s considered ‘flaming’ them. That’s adorable!

You know, I once got banned by some idiot Despair sent me to comment on because I didn’t agree with something she’d blogged about, which I found out from a friend who’d blogged as well. I thought for a second she was kidding and then I went to that site and, low and behold, not only was I ban but she managed to call me all manner of sexy, profane names as well!

I love that kind of site – the kind where the person takes themselves far too seriously, as if anyone gives a damn. I have a note to commenters, too, but mine doesn’t suggest that you can agree with me or leave, it’s there because I know some folks aren’t fans of payperpost, which I am, and I don’t want them to feel the need to comment on a post they can’t identify with. Ooh, I’m a bitch, lol.

At any rate, I felt like ranting about this because Helen was telling me that she just got banned from some dildo’s site for disagreeing with the bloggers views on abortion – basically, all Helen said was ( and I did read the comment, thanks ) that she thinks everyone has the right to choose for themselves, and she can’t understand why someone would lobby to take that right away and harass people who flex that choice. The whole situation’s funny. :P



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Ahhhh, why do I keep hurting myself by ever talking to anyone? I need to learn that age-old Heathen tradition of keeping to my Gods damned self.

I’ve had it up to my balls with those “Hi, how are you!” Chistians that end every paragraph with a question about weither or not you’ve accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior. Oh, sweet bearded Vanir, please stop asking me that. I believe the fact that I’m well known in my small town for not caring WWJD should null that question before it even enters their mind.

The problem here is not that this multitude of pushy, corn fed morons are just asking an innocent question – if that were the case, I wouldn’t care, but they know full well that I’m not Christian and yet they bring it up *ever* *single* *time* they talk to me.

It’s what I get for saying hi back, I guess. I should go with my nature and tell them to bite between em, but I never do – I force myself to be fake pleasent for the sake of keeping the peace and now I’m pissed at myself because it always ends badly.

This particular Christian kept pushing me to go to her church with her to ‘hear the good news’, as if eternal church after I die is good news. If you want to go to heaven where you can live a ‘chaste’ afterlife of neon-bright clouds where Yaweh lives in your neighborhood and can make sure you have an enternity of no fun, then be my guest, but please leave me out of it.

The chich had the balls to pepper in bs like, “_____’s joined a cult, she has those Missionaries over at her house every week for supper.” and “When I met my husband he believed in evolution,” *smacks gum and rolls eyes* “But we’ve prayed about it and he’s come around to my way of thinking.” – way to make me want to go to church with you! You should have showed me what an intolerant dildo you were from the start!



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I’ve decided that I’m going to press charges against the computer chair at work. I’ll file malpractice! Why? Because it doesn’t do anything that it claims to do, and it’s unsafe – the proof is that I’ve fallen out of the damn thing at least three times in as many days! Lol.

I’ll take it to court and ask for the harshest punishment, and maybe then after my chair has gotten ‘the chair’ I’ll go out and buy myself a little pastel mint green retro, plush number to sit my fanny in. I so need a break from this chair.



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A friend of mine is being bombarded with spam by someone who’s disgusted by people who aren’t skinny. I won’t use her url because she doesn’t need any more hateful comments, but she said I could use her name so here goes.

Nan, wife of one of my best friends and best friend in her own right, wrote a blog post yesterday about how, even though she lost a lot of weight due to chemo, she put on about thirty pounds after she had her two boys. Nan’s always been a bit heavy, I wouldn’t call her fat but apparently everyone else would, and until the chemo she never could shed any weight.

Now, I know Nan, I have for fourteen years, she doesn’t over eat, she’s always been quite active (moreso now with kids to chase after) she just can’t seem to drop that weight, and any weight she manages to get rid of she packs right back on within months. Mostly, her blog subject was her depression at the fact that the strict diet and excercise routine the doctor put her on almost a year and a half ago hasn’t managed to really drop any weight for her. In fact, she plateaued after the loss of about ten lbs and quickly put it back on plus five.

And after her heartfelt blog, instead of kind words or even silence, this is just *one* of the awful comments she’s getting from a girl calling herself “healthee4jesus” and using 8 million different IP addresses:

“All I can say is wow. Fat people make all the excuses in the world for why their fat when really they just have to work out and eat healthy like everyone else in the whole world does and then they wouldn’t be such lard asses. There is no such thing as naturally fat! That’s a lie that fatties tell people to make them think they have to be fat so they don’t have to get of their fat asses and do something about it! It repulses me how lardos can sit there and stuff their faces with beer and soda and eat all the chips at a party and still find people to fuck them. Why don’t you just admit that you’re a fat lazy pig? Then we could all get on with our lives and stop caring about you. Just keep making excuses, honey.”

What the hell is wrong with this girl? First of all, grow a backbone and stand behind any convictions you may have with at least an email address so I can properly harass you for being a dildo. Secondly, wtf is your problem? Why pick out a post a few posts down on the page at a blog you’ve never been to before just so you can bitch about how you hate fat people? What the hell is up your ass?

On top of that, what in the hell kind of world did you grow up in where skinny people are automatically healthy? I’ve seen skinny girls who eat nothing but over do it on smoking, drinking or worse and skinny girls who eat everything but never gain a pound – granted those are extremes but there are a lot of them in the world. I’ve seen fat people who eat everything, too, and fat people who eat almost nothing, then there are people on both sides who eat normally. There’s no guaruantee that if you eat a certain way, you’ll be a certain size – it just doesn’t work that way, so why don’t you do something constructive with your time instead of stewing in stupid, pointless rage against people who don’t give two shits about you?



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Wah.

Apr. 11th, 2008 05:44 pm
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Ugh, I need to change this damn layout. It’s been up forever and it’s a lot less valid than the one I’m working on but I can’t get up the will to frack around with WordPress so who knows if it’ll ever change. Um, I don’t, lol.

I’ve been spending loads of time on Associated Content and found, more and more, that the more conservative someone is the more I detest them. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to be conservative unless it’s to keep control over others.

I don’t have much to say, because I’m in the middle of writing out a long winded rant on conservative women and need some aleve for my arthritis, so watch for that, lol.



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ONE WOMAN’S STRUGGLE TO BAN CHRISTMAS

I’ve decided to wage war on Christmas, all by myself. I’m going to throw snowballs at Christmas trees, use the term “X-Mas” instead of Christmas just to tick Christians off, break the penis off of every baby jesus figure in a Nativity scene I come across and glue them onto a hat like Crocodile Dundee’s hat with all the Croc teeth on it ( to show my conquests, of course ), and I’m going to start saying, decorating and pushing the concept of saying “Happy Holidays” instead of Merry Christmas.

Why am I going to do this? Because, I’m part of the secret Pagan/Homosexual/Athiest/Jewish/Muslim/Terrorist Conspiracy Agenda Machine set up by Black People and Hungarians in the wake of the Cold War to tear Christian religion a new one.

We’ve got our hands in everything. We’ve set up an entirely Gay city somewhere in California at a secret location ( Hint: It rhymes with Sman Snanfisco ) and plan to re-plant Gays and Lesbians into every city in the United States so that Gay marriage can take over and destroy The Family Unit, which is our #1 greatest foe. We’ve terraformed the dark side of the Moon with a community of Communists and once every 3 years one of them gets on a rocket ship, comes back to earth and tries to sneak into America. We used to have them exclusively in Mexico, but if you’re going to build a wall, we figure we better be up higher so we can get over said wall with ease. We dress up Yeti like popular comedians and smuggle them in to The View just to tick off that one, psycho Christian chick. And, did you know that we’re actively trying to ban the use of Merry Christmas from all Wal-Mart stores in hopes of driving Christians to flee from them, screaming, only to find themselves locked inside the store! The hope is that this will incite such panic that the Christian God will also panic, assuming it’s almost Armageddon and that the Event alarm on his cell didn’t go off like he’d planned, and prematurely rapture away all the Christians back up into heaven and leave the earth for us to plunder and rape, so we can have orgies without Christians waggling their disapproving fingers at us. Of course, we’ll have to pick up and wash their clothes first – who wants to have an orgy on dirty Christian clothes?

Yes, this is all sarcasm – but what makes it funny is that, supposedly, there really *is* a war on Christmas perpetuated by people like me. Because I sit around all day thinking about Christmas, lol.

If this offends you, well that’s your problem, and if you get why this is funny then I feel sorry for you, because you likely have the same problem as I do.

The problem being that anyone who’s not Christian ultimately has fewer rights and freedoms than those who believe in Jesus Christ, and no matter what your views on the matter, stripping someone of their rights is wrong – the end! I shouldn’t have to hear Christians whine on and on about how we, by simply existing, have waged war on them. If you’re going to get it that wrong, you may as well throw Giants and Pixie Dust in there somewhere.

Generally, all we ( meaning those who aren’t Christian ) want is to have our freedoms just like everyone else in America. Nobody wants to be so far down the ladder that their holidays are meaningless to 80% of the country, but are forced to dawn Santa hats and wish Merry Christmas to people who hate them just to keep off said people’s radar.

From a comment I’d made on someone else’s article:

I find it weird that Christians are offended by this, because no one is saying ban Christmas – well, almost no one. Of course there are always the crazies who want to ban everything, but I’m getting off the point. The idea behind tweaking names ( Christmas to Holiday, Easter to Spring, Etc. ) is not to exclude or ban the religious significance, but to make America a more friendly, open and all-inclusive nation.

Think about it – Christmas, Yule, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Solstice – they all fall around the same time of year, and Yule, Christmas and Solstice along with other holidays fall within the same 3 day period. Why? Because they all basically celebrate the same day for the same reason, Christians have somehow moved Jesus birthday to this day, but the basic idea and a lot of the traditions are the same – and most Christian religious holidays have Pagan roots, Easter being one of those holidays.

I’m not saying this to deflate the significance of these holidays, of course they hold meaning for you, and they should! But they hold meaning for a lot of others, and you don’t see banks closing their doors for Beltane, so why are you complaining? You have to ask yourself why this upsets you so much? Does the idea of other beliefs that contradict yours threaten your beliefs or diminish them? Do you believe that there is no room in America for non-Christian beliefs unless the non-Christian keeps their mouths shut about them? Should we, as the minority, just ‘ignore’ it? Hope Christian bullying goes away? Why is it hard to believe that non-Christians deserve to be treated equally? Notice, they didn’t turn the Easter break into Eostre/Ostra break, did they?

No, instead of putting another religion in there, they decided to be a bit vague so that everyone could enjoy the break without feeling outcast. It’s not your religion that offends people, or it’s holidays, it’s the constant war waged on people who aren’t just like you that’s the problem – that’s why there’s such hostility towards Christianity from those of us who follow different paths. All most of us want is to be treated equally, but in America freedom is apparently only reserved for people who believe that a Jewish virgin gave birth to a Jewish baby who was really the Christian God in the flesh.



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AHHHH!

Mar. 19th, 2008 05:26 pm
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Ugh, I hate working in customer support. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy helping people and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a kick out of the idea that our support staff can handle any problem with a big, Disneyland smile, but some people are just not happy unless they’re ruining your day and that’s what I’m dealing with right now.

See, this chick keeps screwing up her email by going in via FTP and messing with the account files outside of publc_html, and every time she screws it up she comes to us with an “It’s broken” complaint. So we go in, fix it and say, “Do you know how this happened?” and her answer is always, “Well, all I tried to do was ____!” and it always means she’s renamed, deleted or corrupted something. Well, today I told her that for the sake of the server we’ll have to ask her not to mess around with those files, that they are the way they are for a reason and now she’s telling me that we’re horrible support, and that she pays for her space ( she doesn’t, she’s a friend of my mom’s so she gets it for free meaning I have to pay for it and her domain name ) and we should be grateful for her business. She even suggested that *she* tells *me*, not the other way around. ARGH.

Why are some people just so hell bent on ruining your day? I just…want her and her KMart Jacklyn Smith Collection outfit to stay the hell away from me, lol.



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Okay, I know this is an old song and dance coming from me, but get ready to hear some singing and see some dancing anyway. And pretend to like it, lol.

As you likely know from my monster pride, I’m an American. I was born in this country and have spent most of my life here, on and off, and I don’t think anyone loves their country more than I – and yes, you’re welcome to pick that apart and bitch about my American arrogance in thinking I love my country more than you love yours, because that’s exactly what I said.

Anyway, the chase. With the upcoming U.S. Presidential Election, I’ve noticed that a lot of fun, happy haters have surfaced. As Hunter Thompson once said, the scum always rises when the water gets too hot. I’ve been making the rounds on a few of my favorite blogs now that I have a bit more time, I’ve even considered heading back to Snark. I’ve seen quite a few blog posts recently that have to do with the election, and the one thing that I’ve noticed more than anything is that everywhere the election is mentioned some asshole claims that everyone in America thinks the world revolves around them.

Now, honey, I don’t give two shits what you think. If you want to believe that everyone in America runs around with their brains and hearts full of girlish glee at the prospect that they may be richer, more free or better than you, then you just go ahead and think that – but please, tell me about it because I can’t get enough of your home grown hypocrisy.

See, for those of you who are out of the touch or out of your minds, you may not realize that when you say, “All Americans think they’re so much better than everyone else.”, or “All Britans look down on everyone else.”, you’re really saying, “I like stereotypes, and I can’t control myself.” – and while I’m all for you having the right to look stupid, it irks me that it’s directed at *everyone* in my country.

I know assholes in America – oh, boy howdy do I. A lot of mean, self righteous, ignorant bastages. But I also know a lot of snotty, up-their-own-ass, preachy, rude and deliberately snobby Canadians. Does that mean everyone from Canada is like that? Are you high?

I think people get it in their head that America’s fair game. We’re the big boys, like most of the rest of the U.N., and it’s easy to take a few shots at us, but that doesn’t make it piss me off less. I get the worst of the ‘innocent comments’ from my Canadian friends, and I keep thinking if they see everyone in America is stupid, lazy or falsely superior, why bother telling me about it or even hanging out with me for that matter? Rant over – for now.



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Okay, do yourself a favor and don’t ever rent Incredible Creatures That Defy Evolution. While he animals were interesting, which was the point of me watching this piece of crap, I find it hard to believe that in a universe so expansive and diverse that some higher being chose to construct a solitary planet to populate with living organisms. Is God or whoever it is who supposidly made the earth just getting his jollies out by creating creatures he thinks won’t stand a chance? Really? What kind of sadistic God is that?

Point of fact, if believers of Creationism in it’s various forms believe this crap, that’s fine, let them waste their time – but why, if they have such strong convictions, do they feel the need to try their damndest to find scientific proof then stick it in a DVD? And P.S. – Why bother going the scientific route at all if they obviously refuse to believe in hard science by calling evolution (something that makes a hell of a lot more sense than a sky creator with a lot of time on his hands) a myth when they don’t have any real proof? Isn’t that a bit hypocritical?

At any rate, this one’s really only worth the rental if you burn Dixie Chicks albums or are into weird animals. The animals are cool and interesting. This is one to watch with the sound off.



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I’ve decided I don’t like people who don’t like PayPerPost. No, wait, let me correct that – I hate people who are vocal enough in their hatred of PPP that they harass people who use it. I’ve noticed, since I’ve been active in the PPP community, that a fair amount of Posties get a fair bit of hate on a regular basis, and it makes me wonder if non Posties can really be so full of themselves, preachy, up their own asses AND have nothing to do all day all at the same time?

As some of you already know, I’m sure, I’ve decided to distance myself from the Web Haters in recent months. I think it’s ridiculous to scrutenize others for hours on end based solely on the stupid notion that, according to the rules you’ve set for yourself in your own mind, you’ve convinced yourself that you’re superior to them.

If someone’s coding isn’t 100% valid, they suck. If someone uses a more fan-ish style of design, rather than the more elitist approved ‘defaultism’ style that looks quite a bit like the default wordpress layout, they blow. If they don’t agree with you, they are not worthwhile. If they don’t spell perfectly, they should be dehumanized. They use PayPerPost? They should just kill themselves.

I’m all for everyone doing their own thing, and having their own opinions, but it’s a bit on the stupid side to become Peter, Paul and Mary whenever someone doesn’t agree with you to the point of mental slavery. It shows such a want of attention and validation that, were it not so hilarious, would actually be a bit painful to witness.

It actually amazes me that people are so narrow minded that they assume that if paid for your opinion you’d have no other choice than to blatantly lie. These people haven’t taken the time to check out PPP to see how it works, they seem to not realize that you don’t have to take any opportunities that you don’t want to take – you don’t have to take any at all, if you don’t want to. PPP has also been adamant to all Posties that they want blogs with good, real and original content and they don’t want any PPP sponsored posts to be in any way false advertising, in fact you can get benched or banned by an advertiser for that. But why check out the program and learn neat, shiny facts when you can slander it and terrorize it’s users?

I’ve heard all the arguments against blogging for profit, including one mention of it being whoring yourself out, and I haven’t heard one good reason to can it. Let me explain something. Everyone has to make money, and those of us using PPP are people who go to regular jobs, work long hours and still need help with the bills. Not everyone gets paid a decent hourly wage, and for people like me who have special circumstances PPP has become a way to afford small treasures like food and toilet paper, and hopefully a new garbage can with wheels and a lid. The fact that there are people out there who feel it their duty, not to mention a good chance to grab attention, to make those of us who do this work – and it is work, thanks, – regret the day we were born is so stupid and childish. Don’t you get enough attention in your everyday life? Is it really so important to be faux scandalized and ‘make a stand’ against shit that doesn’t concern you? Why don’t YOU go get a job? Or are you too busy being an arrogant, swaggering, common piece of trash all day? I can see how that would take up a lot of your time.

Notably, I don’t have any beef against those who just don’t want PPP on their own sites, because who gives a rats ass if you bitch on your own site? I don’t, I doubt anyone else does unless they’ve got a hard on for your precious approval. Everyone’s welcome to their opinion, it’s when your opinion crosses over into the comments and tag boards of other blogs that you and I have a situation. I’m in awe that it really doesn’t happen to me, lol.



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I’m a bit annoyed ( see Why We Hate Fat People by Laota ). I’ve read on two different blogs, which shall not be named here, that fat people just don’t care about their health, that they’re fat because they’re lazy pigs who do nothing but eat fast food five times a day and should get up off their fat asses once in awhile. One blog even went so far as to blame the parents of fat people, saying that they don’t care about their children’s health and let them eat nothing but McDonalds and candy. What the hell? How do you get to be that ignorant?

First of all, it’s kind of weird to automatically blame parents for a kids weight, especially since some weight problems are genetic – there’s a little girl who lives a few blocks from me who weighs twice what she should, her family is big, too, and I used to babysit for her when she was 3 or 4 and she was heavy then, she’s 9 now and still heavy – they have veggies, fruit, health food, soy milk and nothing really fattening in their kitchen and they take family walks, bike ride, swim – but they’re still overweight and get treated like they’re lazy or slobs. More than once I’ve had to walk the little girl home from school past a particular block in my neighborhood because there are a few little girls in her class who terrorize her and try and beat her up, they call her names and she can’t handle it. For what? Because they have a stupid, ignorant but very popular, predjudice.

Personally, I grew up chubby and I never overate, in fact people made me feel so fat that I excercised all the time and, being a stupid kid, ate almost nothing – I did it for years, and I stayed at a heavier-than-my-friends weight. As soon as my leg got frelled up and I couldn’t walk for a few months ( which is what happens when you don’t have health insurance ) I ballooned up, and I wasn’t eating any more, less or differently than I usually did. I never eat fast food, since I don’t have the money to do so and the nearest fast food place is 30 miles away, nearly, and I don’t have a working car so McD’s wasn’t the culprit, I just couldn’t get up and excercize 2 hours every day anymore.

See, I’m one of those people who have to work twice as hard as my peers and eat half the calories they were eating just to stay at ‘chubby’, which I eventually accepted and now, though I’m heavier than I was then, I still work out every day but I have no desire to eat my old standby of almost nothing. I know I won’t ever be thin, I’m OK with it, but it pisses me off that nobody else seems to be.

Actually, I’ve got a better self image now than I ever have even though now I’m past chubby, I’m downright fat ( and you can deal with it or bite me ), and I look at older pictures of myself before my accident and wonder why I let people tell me I was fat, lazy and ugly. I wasn’t, but I believed everything they said. That screwed with my head, badly, and spent a great portion of my life unable to look myself in the mirror on the off moments when I wasn’t scrutinizing how many pounds I may have lost or gained, I lived on a scale and perminantly chained to nothing but salads, tuna, water and yogurt and counting every calorie as if it were double in hopes of losing that extra five or six pounds. I wish I had a time machine, I wish I could go back and explain to myself that being fat doesn’t have to be a bad thing and that if I let other people control how I see myself then I’m giving them power over me. I hate that. I have a giant, swinging castration complex that won’t let me do that now, lol.

A big problem is that people who consider themselves healthy, who are many times stick skinny and underweight, terrorize overweight people just because they can get away with it. And they justify it by saying that they’re just trying to ‘help’ the person. How, by getting in their business and making them feel worthless? By following a classmate to school, saying you’re going to beat her up? For what? Her size? I know there are a few of that type reading this right now, and let me assure you that you aren’t helping. If someone’s overweight, weither or not it’s their fault, you calling them names and bullying them far into adult life just makes it harder for them to live a happy life.

If someone’s going to make an effort to lose weight because someone ( or many people ) have been putting them down, chances are they’re going to go on crash diets and use pills and supplements because it’s not being healthy that they care about. In fact they probably don’t even care if it kills them, they don’t care if they’re healthy or not, they just want to be thin – they just want you to stop. How is that helpful? Are you high? Is your life not fullfilling enough without torturing someone who obviously has enough to worry about?

While I’m a big advocate of healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle, I think it’s stupid and downright schoolyard to make someone else’s life a living hell just because they don’t look exactly like you. I may never be thin, in fact I know I won’t, but I’d rather like myself and look in the mirror wondering about my stupid hair or trying out a new color of lip gloss than terrified that I may be one pound fatter. Lighten up, people, being skinny doesn’t make you better than anyone else and, let’s face it, there are plenty of skinny people who are just as unhealthy as overweight people so why not get off our tit already? We only get one life, and we all want to enjoy it. When you terrorize someone for any reason, you’re in effect stealing some of their life that they’ll never get back, and if you do this and you’re not ashamed of yourself then YOU are the one who’s worthless.



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There’s just something about the Yankees, isn’t there? They have a hotdog and apple pie quality to them, even their name’s patriotic and watching them play the game is a sight to behold. I wish I’d been able to see them play live, in-stadium, or get Yankees Spring Training tickets, but I’ve never had the money to go to even a local ( Royals ) game, not that I’m a big fan of KC’s team. I miss New York, and The Boys are part of that, and I’d love to go to Spring Training but just checking the Yankees Spring Training Schedule is going to have to do it for me. In June, when they play the Royals, I’m going to enjoy watching them cream the crap out of KC’s team – sorry, I’m no fan, lol.



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Whoo, I’ve been using that Vat19 ambient fireplace DVD for the past two nights ( yes, only I have, Laota is forbidden from using it! I have the power! Also, Laota likes it, too ) and it’s perfect for falling asleep to, nice calming burning ‘noise’ and light melody. I’ve already got my sights set on the ambient sleep, lol. I’m starting to think I have to buy everything at Vat19 – they’re magnificent genius bastards!

Now, onto the reason for this post – and it’s a good reason! Toy makers and candy makers are starting to truely frighten me. Why, you may ask? Because they’re starting to make candy and toy hybrids that look sinister and alien or that double as a weapon, that’s why! I bought a 50 cent Mickey Mouse sucker and didn’t realize it’s stick was some kind of insane light up alien probe until I accidentally hit the button on the bottom of it when I was bringing it home from the store ( I didn’t even know it was there! ). This is the result:

Ew!

How did they pitch that? Hold up a lit up probe with a big smile on their face and say, “You know, for kids!”?



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It’s possible that I’m going through a ‘thing’. Just a funk, and I don’t really know why. I’ve been able to keep my spirits up enough to stay in a state of Zen for the past few months, but it’s taken a lot of work to do it, and the sheer amount of reminders like, “No, it’s OK, you can handle this.” moments have taken a lot out of me. But it was working – I’ve been far from happy, mostly sad-ish, but not so bad as I’d have to be to consider myself regressing into depression. But lately, I’ve had this ick all the time. I’ve been quick to cry, and I never cry. I don’t get what’s up with me. Pew.



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I’m running out of Asian horror films. Running out! I’ve watched all the greats and a lot of the oldies, a few times over, and even own some of them on DVD. Plus a slew of newer ones ( Ringu-present ) and their sequels, and I’m out of shorts like J-Horror: Anthology, Kazuo Umezz’s Horror Theater and the like. The last Asian Horror film I saw – which was supposed to be supernatural horror – was The Quiet Family. While this is a fabulous film, very funny with high production values, it was more of a drama and there was little supernatural content if any. And don’t get me started on the mislabelling Vanishing Twin – don’t rent it unless you’re kind of a pervert. If you are, you’ll love it, lol.

I just want something new, you know? Not a drama, but something supernatural on account of how I’m four years old and I like spooky movies, lol. Maybe a new highschool horror film like the Whispering Corridors films or, if I’m lucky, an ironic ‘your stomach stretched to the limits of human endurance’ film like Dumplings – I just love those. But, yeah, I’m reduced to rewatching Ringu over and over and over and trying to supplement my lack of horror films with Christmassy films, and it’s not working, because what I want is horror – when I get an idea in my head, it sticks like taffy, lol. If you’re a fan of Asian horror ( especially K-Horror or J-Horror ), and you’ve seen a film or three you think I should see, please let me know – here’s hoping I haven’t already seen it, lol.



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Well, it’s official – today is My Birthday Eve. Pay out, PayPerPost, I’d like a cake, lol. I know, I know, it’s sad that I’ve got to buy my own birthday cake – but it’s something I chose to do, and I’m a damn good baker so I could, technically, bake my own if I wanted to but I want to buy a nine dollar ice cream cake. It’s generic, but it’s good – strawberry shortcake with white chocolate decoration on the top and berry cream ice cream. I’m too old to be obsessing over cake, lol. But, I’m of the mind that I’d like one decent birthday, and this is the first year I’ve had in twenty years that I haven’t had to share ( meaning give ) my celebration to my stepdad. The awful jackass.

See, his birthday was the day before mine so I’d get a piece of cake but I couldn’t blow out the candles, he’d get the cards, he’d get the presents, he’d get pampered and I was expected to be one of the people who did the pampering. I can’t tell you how many times I was the one who baked his cake, bought him presents, made him dinner, cleaned up after him – because my birthday didn’t matter. I know it’s kind of childish to whine about it now, since most people consider birthdays to be something that only children get excited about, but I spent my birthdays until I was seventeen being silently envious and hurt by it. In fact he dominated my mother and Laota‘s birthday celebrations, too, and Christmas, Thanksgiving, Mother’s and Father’s days, school events, church events – if there was attention to be paid, he wanted it paid to him and no one else. He was like a vicious, jealous, mean child and he’d get violent if he didn’t get what he wanted, when he wanted.

After a certain point in my life, though, I think I just accepted it and fell into a life of mundane repetition – no opinions, no backtalk, no promise of a better life. And awful as it is to say, in the months that he’s been gone my life has taken an upswing – it’s not a good life, I’m still landlocked and holding down four jobs with literally almost no pay ( we’re talking maybe $200 a month, if that ), and were it not for PayPerPost, I’d literally have nothing. At least I can afford a cake this year, and, for once, it’s happy birthday to me.



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CROSS POSTED

Ack, freaking FREEZING! That space heater’s doing absolutely nothing for this place, at least it keeps Laota and I *almost* warm when we’re sleeping but I’m about ready to kick Cold’s ass, lol. I seriously do not need to get sick.

At least we’ve got cocoa and cider and the occasional warm rice, ugh I love rice. I may make some when I get done typing. Pew, I have to remember to take the garbage out in the freezing cold. More pew.

I made some pumpkin cookies, actually sugar cookies in the shape of pumpkins – so cute. The frosting is fantabulous, I decree that I’m the best frosting maker of all time, lol. Cookies and cocoa and a bigger butt here I come!



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Oh, funny. I’m having a silly, funny good time, lol. First of all I’ve got what the average Xtian would call ‘Devil Music’ playing in my headphones – a traditional Hawaiian song, very pretty – and secondly I’ve got yet another thing to bitch about, lol.

It’s not even a gripe, so ‘bitch’ is the wrong word, more like rant about something hilarious – and that hilarious thing is the W.O.S., which stands for War On Solstice. It could just as easily have been a war on Halloween, since it’s just as funny. Josh, Nan and Jon have decided to ( and rightly so ) ‘fight back’ against the Christians stealing our holidays. Not only do they steal them, but they later claim that we’re corrupting our own holidays but celebrating them the way they’re meant to be celebrated. Apparently we’re somehow waging war on them by not bowing down and kissing their asses.

An example of this is the fact that they can not give a $h1t about your personal beliefs or feelings with a “Merry Christmas” around this time of year, and let’s be honest Pagans, Jews, Muslims, Aethiests, Agnostics and Heathans – we eat it, don’t we? We just let it go, for the most part. Why? Because we know there’s room for everyone, even if some Aethiests, Heathans and Muslims can’t get that through their head ( you know who you are ). There are more of us just chewing it than are making a stink about it, and now I’m starting to regret my part in that fiasco.

You see, for years and years when someone would say “Merry Christmas” to me, even though I celebrate Solstice – one of the many Pagan traditions from which Christmas has it’s origin – I’d return the sentiment with a “Merry Christmas” right back to them. Why? Because it’s not worth fighting about. After all, the point is still the same, right? I hope you have a wonderful holiday this time of year is how I’d chosen, in the past, to take it. I didn’t really realize that “Merry Christmas” is almost literally a smirk and a rude, patronizing pat on the head from a dominatrix.

Did I just lose you? Let me explain. When someone says “Merry Christmas” to you, they assume that you’ll say it back because there’s no chance that you don’t agree with their beliefs. How do you find out if this is true? The next time someone wishes you a “Merry Christmas”, answer back – wish them “Happy Holidays”. Nothing makes a God fearing W.A.S.P. madder faster than someone who doesn’t fall in line. No, no, Christians don’t just want you to wish them peace on earth and good will towards men – they want you to cower.

This may sound like a big leap to you, and if it does you’ve probably got a Bible in your bedroom. I’m not saying that’s bad, what I am saying is that you don’t understand – and you never will. You aren’t on this side of the black leather cover, you don’t realize what it’s like for those of us trying to keep a foothold in a world that doesn’t want us. And that’s ridiculous because, and let me be perfectly clear about this so there’s no misunderstanding, we were here first – oh yes, first – and most everything you believe is based on what you took from us. Not just pagans, in fact the great majority of your beliefs come right from Judaism. I don’t get how you can think you’re God’s chosen people when he most clearly states that the chosen are Jews – and he does so often. Whatever, what you believe isn’t important to this story, it’s how you act that’s the problem.

Is it so hard to just take that “Happy Holidays” as the well wish it’s meant to be? Why do we have to celebrate only Christmas? Jesus wasn’t even born in December, for Odin’s sake! And if you do a little research – which I know is sort of anti Christian – you’d find out pretty quickly how Christmas came to be on December 25.

While I dislike Christians, I’ve got no beef with Jesus ( I’m not going to correct the name, I’ll just leave it, lol ). I’m not going to pretend he was king of close-up magic, or that he could bend spoons with his mind or anything, but he’s your main man and you should definately get to celebrate his birth whenever you see fit – but, honey, we had dibs so long ago that your Bible claims you weren’t even created yet, so take the hint and let us have our holidays, too, okay? And that goes for Halloween ( Samhain ) and every other holiday you don’t won’t stand for – well, stand for it, because there are a lot of us and we’ve got every right to be here.

So, I’m joining the fight against the War On Solstice officially, woo hoo! Lol.



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