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Well, I finally saw the U.S. version of The Eye and I have to say, it was one hundred and fifty percent better than I thought it was going to be! I was all geared up to hate the film like I do with every other remake of an Asian horror film, but I was pleasantly surprised by this one! WARNING: HUGE SPOILERS BELOW!!!!

First of all, with very few exceptions they stayed very close to the original story, using America in place of China and Mexico in place of Thailand. This was a very good idea, and it turned out to be a great way to get the story to the screen in the west.

Their ghosts were fairly true to form, although they did make some of them ( including the Shadowmen aka The Claimers ) far to aggressive, adding scary faces and lion roars where there hadn’t been any previously. I don’t understand why they’d do that, since, in my opinion, the original Shadowmen were scary – not because of aggression – but because they would only show up when someone was about to die.

Another problem I had with the film was the fact that they cut the mother out of the process of saving her daughter from re-enacting her death by giving her a heart attack so that Sydney could save her, which is a mistake often made by American film makers – the mistake of Last Girl Standing where the heroine has to live and be responsible for anyone else who makes it through a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In fact, they Last Girl Standing’d up the climax of the film in which Sydney manages to save a stretch of road full of people who died in the first film, and while they did a decent job with it, that really took away from the original point of that part of the story – that gift is really a curse because you can’t save people destined to die, because no one believes you.

They also took out the whole arch where she is removed from her job in the orchistra because she’s not blind anymore, but I suppose that’s neither here or there.

They did add some great scenes though, which I’m shocked about. They did ruin one of my favorite scenes, the ‘you’re sitting in my chair’ scene but they did add a great element to the new version. All in all I was really happy with it, even if the love interest is a tool, lol. Alba did a fantastic job, everyone pulled their weight except the love interest guy, and it was thoroughly enjoyable! I’m gonna say, on a scale of 5 stars I’d definately give it a three and a half with the original being all 5.



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Okay, do yourself a favor and don’t ever rent Incredible Creatures That Defy Evolution. While he animals were interesting, which was the point of me watching this piece of crap, I find it hard to believe that in a universe so expansive and diverse that some higher being chose to construct a solitary planet to populate with living organisms. Is God or whoever it is who supposidly made the earth just getting his jollies out by creating creatures he thinks won’t stand a chance? Really? What kind of sadistic God is that?

Point of fact, if believers of Creationism in it’s various forms believe this crap, that’s fine, let them waste their time – but why, if they have such strong convictions, do they feel the need to try their damndest to find scientific proof then stick it in a DVD? And P.S. – Why bother going the scientific route at all if they obviously refuse to believe in hard science by calling evolution (something that makes a hell of a lot more sense than a sky creator with a lot of time on his hands) a myth when they don’t have any real proof? Isn’t that a bit hypocritical?

At any rate, this one’s really only worth the rental if you burn Dixie Chicks albums or are into weird animals. The animals are cool and interesting. This is one to watch with the sound off.



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Movie Time

Nov. 25th, 2007 01:19 am
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So, I finally saw Knocked Up and An Inconvenient Truth – I’m late to both scenes, but I’ve got nothing but good things to say about both of them, even though I think Gore may have worked his own sob story into the slideshow/film a little too much.

It’s nice, though, to watch something like Knocked Up and see a bunch of your favorite actors, I swear I recognized almost everyone from my obsession with late 90s TV, and everyone who decided to cancel Freaks and Geeks can suck it, lol. I enjoyed the film, though, I thought it would be too chick flick-y for my taste but it really wasn’t, I may get the DVD after the holidays when I have cash to spend on myself, hehe.

Now, I must leave this non-sensical, pointless post that came out of nowhere and head back to watching Saturday Night Fever, pretending it’s because I like the movie more than Travolta in tight pants.



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I’m running out of Asian horror films. Running out! I’ve watched all the greats and a lot of the oldies, a few times over, and even own some of them on DVD. Plus a slew of newer ones ( Ringu-present ) and their sequels, and I’m out of shorts like J-Horror: Anthology, Kazuo Umezz’s Horror Theater and the like. The last Asian Horror film I saw – which was supposed to be supernatural horror – was The Quiet Family. While this is a fabulous film, very funny with high production values, it was more of a drama and there was little supernatural content if any. And don’t get me started on the mislabelling Vanishing Twin – don’t rent it unless you’re kind of a pervert. If you are, you’ll love it, lol.

I just want something new, you know? Not a drama, but something supernatural on account of how I’m four years old and I like spooky movies, lol. Maybe a new highschool horror film like the Whispering Corridors films or, if I’m lucky, an ironic ‘your stomach stretched to the limits of human endurance’ film like Dumplings – I just love those. But, yeah, I’m reduced to rewatching Ringu over and over and over and trying to supplement my lack of horror films with Christmassy films, and it’s not working, because what I want is horror – when I get an idea in my head, it sticks like taffy, lol. If you’re a fan of Asian horror ( especially K-Horror or J-Horror ), and you’ve seen a film or three you think I should see, please let me know – here’s hoping I haven’t already seen it, lol.



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The Mist

Nov. 6th, 2007 05:48 am
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Has anyone heard of The Mist by Stephen King? Apparently it’s a newbie in the thriller movie market, though I don’t know how long it’s been around as a book – forever, I know that, lol. I’d heard about the book when I was a kid ( I think? ) so I’d say it’s at least 1981 or before. It’s one of the many Stephen King novels I’ve never read, the reason being that I think Stephen lost his marbles after Carrie, lol.

Don’t get me wrong, I love some of his works – Sometimes They Come Back, in particular – but Carrie was always the crowning achievement in my eyes ( possibly tied with The Stand ). I’ve even thoroughly loved the many film adaptions of his books, and this one, I’m sure, will be no exception.

Carrie, though, was so novel at the time, it wasn’t like any book I’d ever read before, and to punctuate how important it was to the horror novel, how many ‘teenage girl finds out she has magic/psychic powers and breaks out of her shell’ books or films have come along since? Yes, he started a booming, thriving business with that – a whole sub genre to itself.

The Mist is about this town ( I think it’s just a town ) that’s plaqued by an unnatural mist after a thunderstorm, and anyone who goes out into said mist is attacked by monsters – eek! I think they’re putting this out at the wrong time, lol, it’s got Halloweenie written all over it. If you haven’t checked the trailer out, you seriously should if you’re a King fan.

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Again? Really? Come on, we all knew about The Eye’s remake, because I’ve been vocal as have many other horror purists, and I think we can safely bet that Jessica Alba is the wrongest person ever to walk a mile in these shoes, and let’s be honest about how ‘fabulous’ that remake of One Missed Call is going to be next year, but I had no idea how bad it was – or what was to come:

Actresses vying for the Sarah Michelle Gellar crown include the comely Jessica Alba, who has largely floundered outside her “Fantastic Four” jumpsuit. Alba stars in “Awake” (debuting Nov. 30), about a man (Hayden Christensen) who undergoes a heart transplant and finds himself undergoing anesthetic awareness, in which his body is asleep but his mind remains awake. Alba also plays a wife who gets her own transplant in “The Eye,” a remake of the Thai film by the Pang brothers. This time, a blind Alba receives a spooky set of new eyes that bring along their own startling visions.

Emily Browning, from the film version of “Lemony Snicket,” and Arielle Kebbel, from “The Grudge 2,” attempt a different Asian remake, “A Tale of Two Sisters,” a redo of the highest-grossing Korean horror film of all time. It’s about siblings — one newly sprung from a psychiatric hospital — grappling with their father, his malevolent new fiancĂ©e and a ghost residing in their home. In “Rec,” Jennifer Carpenter, who played the possessed girl in “The Exorcism of Emily Rose,” gets trapped in an apartment building during a rabies breakout.

And even “Hairspray’s” Amber Von Tussle — a.k.a. actress Brittany Snow — will get to try out her scream chops in “Prom Night,” the remake of the Jamie Lee Curtis artifact from the 1980s, in which a group of friends get stalked by a killer on their prom night.

And don’t count Gellar out.

The 30-year-old is possessed by “Possession,” another Asian redo, in which her character and her character’s husband and brother-in-law wind up in a freak accident. Unfortunately, only one of the brothers wakes from a coma.

READ FULL ARTICLE

Are you freaking kidding me? Are you kidding me!? Tale of Two Sisters and Posession? Just, for Great Pumpkin’s sake, please slap subtitles on the originals and re-release them, I’m begging you. Or I’ll have to start taking hostages.



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I’ve decided I hate name dropping films. No matter how much I love the subject of a film, or a television show, their shark jump is almost always a trip back in time, or for period films/shows, being set in the past, because this leaves the path clear for period name dropping.

If you’re not familiar with period name dropping, it’s when anything set in the past,- weither it be flashback, time travel, or just the show’s time period -, paves the way for someone from the cast to meet a historical or legendary figure and somehow be the single person to shape their destiny. There were a lot of good shows that employed this technique, like The Adventures of Brisco County Jr., which starred the incomparible Bruce Campbell and John Asten, as well as a slew of other great actors. Another show this horrible flaw spread to was Xena, then Star Trek ( especially TNG ) and The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles.

It drives me absolutely up the wall that some writer would have the balls to have Xena point Mary and Joseph on their way, Sam Beckett nearly blow up Hitler, or have Henry Jones Jr.’s governess take him and new friend Norman Rockwell out to a puppet show, an act that will eventually lead to Norman making a sketching that Picasso signs and Indie fraudulently sells. Do we see a pattern? Indeed, the only time I’ve ever seen this sort of integration happen where it didn’t royally eat my lunch was in The Last Crusade, when Hitler took Henry Sr.’s diary out of Indie’s hand in a horrible moment of tension and then signs it with his autograph – which was so spot on, it may as well have really happened.



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Unless you’ve been living in a shoe for the last three years, and your abundance of children made paying attention to the media impossible, because frankly, with that many children you wouldn’t know what to do, then you’ve probably heard that the amazing, sacred and epic poem of Beowulf has been adapted to the big screen.

When I first heard about this, I was, as I always am, a giant angrypants. See Beowulf was my first access to the Viking world, even though it’s entirely fabricated, but it introduced me to a lot of things that eventually ended up in my study and adoption of Asatru, although it’s in no way a religious story. It’s writers were obviously Christian if not well versed in that faith, though, but that’s beside the point. It’s also one of the greatest stories ever told, it makes virgin birth look like a sweeps arch on a bad network TV show, and it paints the picture of Grendel, savage and tragic monster of the fen, the polar opposite evil to Beowulf’s goodness and maybe the single most frightening monster ever created. Needless to say, this poem means a lot to me.

Now I find out that the epic has been warped to give She, portrayed by Angelina Jolie and credited just as “Grendel’s Mother”, a lot more airtime than she should have, which is, of course, screwing with the Divine to give Jolie a vehicle. This is something akin to making a porno reality show out of Pygmalion. I’m sorry, I can’t write anymore, I have to rant later or I’ll put my fist through the screen, lol.



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These days I can really only bring myself to rant and rant and rant about everything I see and hear. I’m starting to think I’m just a rotten, mean spirited person – or, I should say that those thoughts of my personality are confirming themselves, lol.

First of all, I saw something hilarious on a re-run of The Colbert Report on which Andrew Keen made an appearence as well as an ass of himself. In his view, the internet has – by giving everyone the chance to express themselves – paved the way for the elite to be passed by the filthy masses, and it’s undermining the artist and professional. I don’t agree.

I think Andrew Keen is an angry elitist who’s pissed off that some people have achieved quite a bit for themselves without having to go through people like him to do it – sort of like the Pope being your only route to God, which is why if you don’t follow the Pope, you’re obviously a sinner because you’ve found your own way to salvation.

I, for one, am happy that the internet has given so many people the opportunities it has. I, myself, live in the middle of nowhere, and if it weren’t for the fact that I can work two of my three jobs online and use Pay Per Post when I see something on it that I like, my ‘IRL’ 9-9 job wouldn’t pay the bills, and out here you have no option to go elsewhere. If you live in a place like this, and have the ability to get out, please do yourself the favor, lol.

There are also many people who I know personally, or who’s work I’ve become a fan of, who wouldn’t have the opportunity to work on the things and subjects they love, and they’re lives are better for it. These people are, basically, being told by people like Keen that they have no right to do what they want to do or love to do, because Keen and other elitists are threatened by it. I find that hilarious. I’m sure I’ll write more on the subject, lol.

But now I come to the bullshit that made me post today – Jessica Alba stars in “The Eye”. Oh yes. For those of you who aren’t Asian Horror junkies like I am, you may not know that The Eye is the crowning achievement for Danny Pang and Oxide Pang Chung, two of the greatest horror directors of all time.

If you haven’t seen the original, please, do yourself a favor and go check it out – before the new one comes out. If you’ve done this with The Grudge and The Ring already, than you know I’m right, lol.

Why do they keep remaking these films? One Missed Call, Posession, The Host, Ryeong, Red Eye, Dumplings ( Three Extremes ), The Lake House – did any of these need remakes? Thank the gods some of them are only rumoured, and maybe I have too much faith in my fellow Americans, but wouldn’t it be easier to put up English subtitles and re-release the originals in theaters?



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Whee, double good news today ( I know, two posts in one day should technically be all in one post, but bite me, lol ). Josh and Minh are expecting their first child, she just found out this morning, big congrats to them! I never thought I’d hear about Josh having kids, lol, it seems so surreal.

Minh wants to raise the baby Asatru, and you know that makes me giddy, lol. I think, out of everyone I’m close with, only Wil, Natalie, Nina, Jules and Mike aren’t Asatru. That’s not even 10% of us, which, while I’m all for other religions, is kind of nice considering there aren’t that many Asatru in the world. I think Jules and Mike are the only non-pagans. They’re both Christian, only Mike’s the bad kind! I’m so glad most of my friends can take a joke, and yes that was directly pointed at someone, lol.

Second bit of good news, Baron is getting his book, “How To Run Effectively Away: A Novice Guide to Cowardess” published! Whoo hoo doesn’t seam to cover it, lol. Congrats to everyone!

Now, some movie-ness. I forgot how good Labyrinth is, I’m watching it now. CGI’s got nothing on Jim Henson and elbow grease, and of course, the vocal stylings of the amazing Frank Oz. It’s so weird to see J.C. in a role where I don’t absolutely despise her, lol.

The film is so enjoyable, very much like The Neverending Story. I really do have a soft spot for this one in comparison to other 80s flicks like it, it’s always been a favorite. There’s one film that I’ve seen recently that really reminds me of these kinds of films and it’s The Great Yogai War, which I recommend to anyone who likes Neverending Story or Labyrinth and can stand subtitles.

Tonight I’m gonna watch A House of Mad Souls then Wishing Stairs since I’ve got some down time and there’s really nothing to do in town if you don’t particularly want to see Transformers with a bunch of hillbillies who undoubtably would think the robots are real, lol.



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Ugh! I’ve had it! I’ve been working on a new layout for Shibuya for upwards of three days, of course, no luck. Aren’t I supposed to know how to do this? Pew. I can’t make anything work, I’ve started to blow when it comes to color. The thing is, I want to do something pixel-y, I even went so far as to start single-pixel-drawing an amusement park. Of course, that didn’t work and it would look rediculous if it had.

On top of this, my work sched. has left me moody and sleepy. RAWR.

In the small miracles catagory, Netflix has finally sent Wishing Stairs, a film which I’ve only waited a short four months for them to finally send. It’s been on Long Wait status forever and a day, and I should be getting it sometime today so expect a review of that.



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Yes, it’s review time again. The reason being that I just saw the fabulee, splendiferious, gorgemous Brian Flemming religious documentary The God That Wasn’t There, and I strongly recommend it to anyone who’s been through the Jesus Freak scene and come out of it alive. Actually, I recommend it to anyone, period.

The films is chock full of fun facts to learn and know, including the time travelling Satan defence ( The Devil went back in time and switched things around to make Christians look like they’re lying when things don’t add up ) and the Rapture, which was an endless source of amusement.

One of the best things about the film is that the film maker, Brian Flemming, is a former Christian himself, and lets us peek into what his childhood was like in sad, snarky and touching candid moments when he turns the camera on himself.

I don’t have much of a lunch break left, but I just had to gush about it, lunchtime be damned, lol. Seriously, go see it, it’s farking fabulous.



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Well, well, well. This piece of crap, children of the corn town has finally made it’s movie-of-the-week ( our theater only shows one per week, on weekends ) At World’s End, which I’ve been waiting for as if it’ll bring me a snack or something. Hmm. I think I just made a fat joke at my own expense. I deem it to be funny. Moving on. :P

I’m gonna go see AWE tonight with Laota, who also seems to think their are snacks in the movie, and I’m half giddy, half dreading it. Our theater manages to fuck up the first 20 and last 20 minutes of every single movie ( the projector can’t be that hard to run ), in fact, when Curse of the Black Pearl came out, they burnt up the movie just as they were about to hang Jack, so we had to wait until the next day to see what happened. Like they pre-selected the most suspense-y time to fuck the film over, lol. At least they gave us vouchers to see the film for the next day, but Jesus.

Anyway, I’ve heard a lot of negative reviews about the film, so I’m sure it’ll rock, considering both of the other films with ash-canned by every blogger in the world. So, I just figure, they don’t have any fucking clue what they’re talking about, I mean, these people like The Grudge, for fuck’s sake.



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So, I’ve found myself spending almost nothing on entertainment every month with the exception of my Netflix, and it’s honestly not as bad as I thought it would be. I barely spend $100 outside of bills a month, since I’m saving, and it’s actually working out pretty decently.

So, now onto obsession. I’m starting to think I’ve seen just about every Asian horror film that Netflix has, and I’m on the waitlist for the ones they don’t have or are backed up on ( Reincarnation’s taking forever ), which is a shame since I’ve become addicted to those. It’s possible that I get addicted to things easily, lol.

Why does it have to be weirdie, obscure things, though? I can’t be addicted to regular-ass, easy-to-find things, oh no, not I.

At least this is a harmless addiction, except for the taking-up of my free time, but other than working, for someone who’s trying to stay clean and sober, there really isn’t much else to do in a town like this. I think I’d rather be watching yet another Miike or Pang film than out with the Billhillies getting stoned and having little BillHillie babies. I think I can do without the welfare life, thanks.

Don’t mince my words, I have no problem with the concept of a welfare system, and it really does help a lot of people who deserve and appreciate it, but around here girls start talking about how great welfare’s going to be by the time they start sprouting tits. When I was in my mid-teens a girl who was dating one of my friends started telling people she couldn’t wait to get pregnant so she could go on welfare and then she’d be, I shit you not, “Set for life.”…wtf? It’s people like that who fuck up these programs for everyone.

Wow, I went on a mini rant there and I’d meant to talk about movies. I’ve even surprised myself this time, go team me, lol.



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Well, I finally got to see the new Spiderman film last night and now I question the sanity of those who’ve seen it and rip it to shreds. I really enjoyed it, I wanted to shoot MJ in the face, as always but I did really enjoy it. Topher Grace being hot probably had something to do with it, lol.

SPOILER WARNING

—————————————-

The part that I’ve heard people really bitch about is what’s been referred to as the “Emo Kid” scene, in which Peter Parker’s black suit amplifies parts of his personality and he becomes a great, flaming jackass in dark clothes with an over-sized ego. I didn’t see the problem, personally.

First, let’s set aside the fact that I thought Toby looked good that way, because as much fun as my eyes were having with that film ( including James Franco in boxer briefs ), hot guys do not a good movie make. Example: Troy.

To focus on the film itself, I’d say this “Emo” scene was purely character development, and it was neccesary ( even if the dance scene was a bit much ) to force Peter to realize what an ass he’d really been up until that point. Even before the black suit, he was acting like a self absorbed bitch, the suit just amplified it.

Besides that, the fact that Emo is considered a look, or worse, someone who’s depressed or cutting themselves, is really starting to piss me off. The labelling of people, shoving them into little, easy-to-identitify groups or “scenes” annoys me. When I was in my teens, I knew a lot of kids my age who would now be considered “Emo”, who were a bit on the weird side, and granted they were sort of anti-jock drama-type nerds, but they were pretty upbeat, kind of fun, a little rant-y ( but who isn’t? ), and hyper. I don’t remember any of them being any more depressed than anyone else I knew. As far as I know, all “Emo” means ( or should mean ) is that these people listen to a style of music called Emotional Rock.

The point of that last paragraph is that Peter Parker, while having the stereotypical traits of a labelled “Emo Kid”, acted a lot more like a combination of Jack Kerouac, Neil Cassidy and Hunter S. Thompson, which would technically make him a Beat, I suppose.

I don’t see the point in forming an opinion about an entire film based on a few minutes of footage that contain a stereotype of someone you’ve pre-made up your mind not to like, because it makes you miss Harry Osbourne in boxer briefs. :P



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